Jutlus 19.03.2023
II Moosese 16:11-19,31,35 ja Johannese 6:24-35
Gustav Piir, koguduse õpetaja

Lihtne on näha, et Jumala poolt antud head annid kuulusid ammustele inimestele, kes sõltusid Jumalast. Kristlastena vahest tunneme, et meile on pärandatud toredaid lugusid, kuid ütleme, et neil lugudel pole täna meie tegeliku eluga vähimatki pistmist. Siiski, neis lugudes on ka meile õppetund. Piiblis leiduv lugu on kui osa meie enda loo mõistmisest ja meil on, mida  tänasel päeval Pühakirja tekstidest õppida. Me kipume arvama, et põllumehed ja targad kaupmehed ning varustajad tagavad meie toiduvaru. Kuid kogu meie leidlikkusele vaatamata on Jumal see, kes on loonud planeedi, kus seemned tärkavad, kasvavad ja maa toob esile oma vilja. See, et miski on osa meie tavaelust, ei tähenda, et see poleks imeline. Kas me näeme seda või mitte, me sõltume Jumalast, et oma igapäevast leiba süüa, nagu tegi Iisraeli kõrberännaku põlvkond.
See meie maailm on täis väga erinevaid taimi ja loomi, kes meid kõiki keerulises ökosüsteemis toidavad. Meie oleme need, kes on loonud ning üles ehitanud süsteeme, kus toit on mõnes kohas kättesaadavam kui teises. Jumala plaan on laud kõigile katta. Jumala tegevus on ka see, mis pöörab meie maailma toidupoliitika ning logistika peapeale.
Me väidame, et teame Jumala loo lõppu nii meie, maailma kui ka Piiblis leiduvate inimeste suhtes ning järgnevad märksõnad oma meile tuttavad: manna, vutid, tõotatud maa; kannatus, surm, ülestõusmine, igavene elu; vesi, sõna, pidulaud; külluslik ning igavene elu.
Miks meil siis pole vaja oodata Jumalalt enamat? Miks me lepime mis tahes allikast pärit leivaga, selle asemel, et otsida ja oodata Jumalalt lakkamata armastust meie vastu ning edastada seda teistelegi sõnas ja teos? Kas võib juhtuda, et me tegutseme ja näeme vaeva selle leiva nimel, mis hävib, ja mitte selle leiva nimel, mis püsib igaveseks eluks, mille Inimese Poeg meile annab, sest me ei taha või ei suuda nimetada seda, mille järele me tõeliselt nälgime ja igatseme? Miks piirduvad meie püüded kesisusega?
Pühakirja lugedes tulevad meelde hirmud pettumuste ees ning vajadus kuidagi ennast ja Jumalat välja vabandada, sellega et ütleme: me pole Jumala andide ega armu väärilised.
Evangeeliumist loetud lõigus saame teada, et Jeesusega kohtumise juures on võtmeküsimuseks: „Mida me peame tegema, et teha Jumala tegusid?“ (Johannese 6:28). Lisame siia veel küsimused: „Kui palju leiba on piisav?“ ja „Kuidas me veendume, et tegeleme õigesti ning vastutustundega?“ Sellised küsimused on veelgi raskemad vastata, kui kaalul on sõda ja rahu, ohutus, julgeolek, toit, puhas vesi, tervishoid, stabiiline majandus ja eluterve keskkond. „Mida me peame tegema, et teha Jumala tegusid?“ Kõigepealt peame ära tundma Jumala teod.
Tõepoolest, 2. Moosese raamatu 16. peatükis tuletatakse meile meelde, et manna armuannina ja Jumala auhiilguse (mis ilmutab Jumala kohalolekut) ilmumisel on tihe seos. Just Jumala armuliste andide ja õnnistuse kaudu kogeme, et Jumal on meiega. Siiski on oluline ka mõista, et Jumala poolt iisraellaste varustamine toiduga toimub kontekstis, kus puudus ning näljahäda on reaalne ning igasugune logistiline tagala varustusega puudub. Ollakse põgenikuna teekonnal sellega, mida kiiruga sai kaasa haarata. Asjaolu, et Iisraeli lapsed satuvad kõrbe ning toidu- ja veevarustuseta teele, tuletab meile meelde tõelist toidupuudust ja näljahäda tänapäeval, mis paljudele inimestele üle kogu maailma võib olla igal päeval päikesetõusust loojakuni ja veelgi enam läbi öö koidikuni eluohtlik reaalsus – sageli mitte nende endi süü tõttu. Kliimamuutuste põhjustatud looduskatastroofid, aga ka tavapärased maavärinad, üleujutused ja maanihked ning sõja, terrori ja globaliseerumise hiljutised mõjud paljude inimeste igapäevaelule sunnivad meid mõistma, et paljud inimesed ei koge tänapäeva „taevamannat“. Jumala heas loomingus on toitu rohkem kui küll. Selle nägemuse „Jumala headest andidest on küllalt” jaoks on aga eluliselt oluline see, et igaüks meist tagab, et kõik kogukonna liikmed võtaksid just seda, mida nad vajavad. Ei rohkem ega vähem.
Lugu mannast 2. Moosese raamatu 16. peatükis hoiatab liigkogumise ehk ahnuse eest, mis lükkab vabandusena ümber seda müüti: „Kui mina ei aita iseennast, kes siis veel“. Selle asemel lugu mannast julgustab jagama. Seda sama ilmestavad ka lood, mis räägivad sellest, kuidas Jeesus võttis viis leiba ja kaks kala ning pärast toidu õnnistamist murdis leiva, jagas kalad ja andis annid selleks, et toita suurt hulka näljaseid inimesi (Markuse 6:30-44; Markuse 8:1-9; Johannese 6:1-14). Selline oma olemuselt armulauaakt jätkab arusaama Jumala toiduvaru absoluutsest piisavusest, mis ilmneb esmalt manna loos, kuna kaksteist leivakorvi, mis pärast paljude inimeste toitmist järele jäid, sümboliseerivad küllust, mis ületab kõike, mida maailmas oleks võinud oodata. Samamoodi oleme kutsutud kehastama Jumala toiduvarustamist, toites abivajajaid lähedal ja kaugel just seetõttu, et Jumal on meid toitnud.
Nagu ma äsja rõhutasin, kogu piiblitraditsioonis on korduv mõjuv metafoor teema Jumalast, kes hoolitseb inimeste eest, seda Vanast Uue Testamendini. Jumala armuline toiduvaru on kehastunud Jeesuse näljaste toitmise teos. Rahvahulk, kes oli tulnud Jeesust kuulama, saab toidetud ja Jeesus kuulutab ka meile: „See on Jumala tegu, et te usute temasse, kelle Jumal on läkitanud“ (Johannese 6:29). Uskuda tähendab uskuda, et Jumal teeb midagi uut, mida inimese loodud tingimused ja asjaolud ei saa õõnestada ega ümber lükata. Võib-olla on selles rahvahulga ja Jeesuse kokkupuutepunktist midagi õppida, sest Jeesus ei anna tööjuhiseid Kirikule kui struktuurile, vaid pigem usujuhiseid kristlastele: „See on Jumala tegu, et te usute temasse, kelle ta on läkitanud“.
Mis siis, kui uskumine sarnaneb oma Kõrgemale Jõule alistumise „tööga“ Anonüümsetes Alkohoolikutes? Usk või usaldus Jeesusesse, temasse, kes on taevast alla tulnud, on uskliku jaoks Jumala poolne töö Püha Vaimu abiga: see toimib, kui usklik seda teeb! „Me võime uskuda õiglusesse kui asjasse,“ on öelnud kunstnik ja teoloog Elizabeth Gray King. „Me võime uskuda armastusse ja hoolitsusse ning lahkusesse ja alandlikkusesse. Kuid seni, kuni me hakkame elama ja käituma armastusena, osutama elavat hoolitsust, lahkesti lahkust jagades ja teistega alandlikult läbi käies, võrreldes teguviisiga, mis lähtub väevõimust, on usk lihtsalt uskumus, peaaegu objekt, mida imetleda….”
Kokkuvõttes, kui me peatume ja mõistame konteksti, pole see tekst, millega peaksime oma muistsete vendade ja õdede üle kohut mõistma, vaid see annab julgust seista kõrbes rändaja nahas ja vaadata ringi, et näha, kuidas Jumal soovib, et meie maailma korraldaksime Jumala rahvana. Jumal annab meile elatist ja me peame võtma seda, mida vajame, kuid usaldus ja ahnus ei sobi kokku. Jumal pakub endiselt ressursirikast maailma ja meie peaksime imeks panema seda Jumala andide üleküllust, mis saadaval. Võimalik, et me reageerime inimeste viisil „kaebamiste ja nurinaga“. Võtame teadmiseks, et meie hoiak Jumala andide suhtes ei peaks kunagi sisaldama „kurtmist“ kõigi andide üle, mis meile on antud Jumala poolt. Jah, meie elutee on täis katsumusi. Kui tunneme kiusatust sõltuda muudest asjadest ja isikutest peale Jumala, siis oleme tõepoolest sarnased selle põlvkonnaga, kes ei õppinud kõrbeteel. Kõik nad surevad enne, kui Jumala tõotused täituvad. Nii on ka usuteel rändajatega, kellel maailma kõrberada käia. Jumala tegusid tehes ei tule koheseid tulemusi. Kõrbes on vaja palju kannatlikkust ja usku ning usaldust Jumalasse.

Sermon for Sunday March 19th 2023
I Samuel 16:1-13; John 9:1-41
Reverend Gustav Piir, priest-in-charge

A couple of years ago I really enjoyed watching the television series “The Young Pope” and its sequel “the New Pope” and I catch any reruns that are available. I have to admit that in our fantasy worlds as well as at times in real life we tend to pick our leaders be they politicians, principals, coaches, celebrities, and so on, based on our society’s norms about appearance. Then there is the drama of trying to choose the right person for the job. So I can very well understand why Samuel had a difficult task in selecting first of all Saul and then David to be Saul’s successor. We today in the Church like to think we have risen above the shallow horizon of appearances but people in the Church are still choosing leaders according norms about appearance and wisdom as reflected the world of theatre and television drama as presented by “the Young Pope” or “the New Pope”.
I ask again “Are we really any different?” We do like good looks, we also look for wisdom and we like drama as well as intrigue. What a powerful, countercultural, evangelical message that our Old Testament text this Sunday has to offer us and our times! Thus says the Lord: “The Lord does not see as mortals see: they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” Also our Old Testament reading speaks a powerful word about the painful aftereffects of the failure of leadership. God admonishes Samuel, asking him how long he will grieve about Saul. The reference to grief signifies sorrow, the deep disappointment of what could have been. Indeed, there were such high expectations for Saul. Though right from the start, Samuel warned the people about the dark side of having a king rule over them, giving numerous examples of what kings could do when they get their hands on power. The fact that Samuel fears for his life when God asks him to anoint Saul’s successor serves as a case in point of the failure of Saul as king, which moreover is evident in the cost of war upon war, and the stark divisions rampant in a young nation. God’s position is clear. In the harshest possible terms, God asserts that God has rejected, or one could say, scorned or disavowed God’s former leader. No leader, no matter how mighty he or she thinks they are, is immune to losing their position of power and influence. Instead, God calls upon Samuel to take heart and to do what prophets are supposed to do: anoint whom God had selected. 
After fears subside for all parties, Samuel begins his search for the new king based on the same expectations he had with his previous anointing. Immediately when he sees Eliab, he assumes that he should be the next king. After all, Saul’s physical stature was one of the distinctive attributes of the handsome first king who “stood head and shoulders above everyone else” God instructs Samuel to unlearn his previous expectations. While Samuel looks for a king based on the model of physical stature and poise, the Lord instructs him to suspend human logic and trust in Divine guidance. Forget the looks of the “Young Pope” and the theological musings of Cardinal Newman as quoted by the “New Pope”.
Now permit me diverge for a moment and reflect on what this Divine guidance has produced as recounted in the stories left to us in the Old Testament. Ideal leaders are not what we might expect and yet they are whom God chooses. For instance, Moses stutters (Exodus 4:13-14), he has blood on his hands (Exodus 2:11-14), and his face is said to shine after his encounter with the Divine (Exodus 34:29). In the book of Judges, one finds numerous unlikely leaders as evident in the left-handed Ehud (Judges 3), Deborah who leads the people despite being a woman (Judges 4), and Jephthah is a leader despite being the son of a prostitute (Judges 11). Moreover, the suffering servant in Isaiah 42:1-7 is described as “a bruised reed” and “a dimly burning wick,” attests to the fact that God’s power is revealed through vulnerable leaders who embrace their vulnerability as a source of strength. Significantly, we have the reference that the spirit of God “came mightily” upon David, just as the spirit departed from Saul.
What is the exact downfall of Saul, we do not know. The tragedy of Saul was that he was a transitional figure who had to bear the burden of being the man who was of an old order and at the same time of a new way of life among a people composed of disparate elements and leading figures. Both Samuel, the last judge of Israel, and David, the future builder of the small Israelite empire, opposed Saul. Indeed, to look at the Books of the Old Testament the king is judged by his ability to live up to what Psalm 72 imagined to be the ideal king. Whether leaders succeed or fail ultimately goes back to whether they may rule in justice, which includes defending the cause of the poor, delivering the needy, and upending the oppressor (Psalm 72:2-5). In choosing a new king God shows Samuel a different way to approach things. After traveling to Bethlehem, in the presence of Jesse and his sons, Samuel realizes and affirms the presence of the Lord’s anointed.
There is no explanatory verse but surely, the subtext of the passage implies an inner thought bubble like “And Samuel beheld the sons of Jesse and sarcastically thought, ‘Really, Lord … really?’” By addressing this bewilderment, God delivers a magnificent response, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart”. What follows is a painful audition for the position of the future king of Israel. Each one of Jesse’s sons comes before Samuel, and each one is quickly rejected. The text suggests that the tempo of the rejection as both swift and ruthlessly efficient. Samuel is confused and asks if there are any left. Reluctantly, Jesse answers, “Well, there is the little one, but he is tending the sheep” It appears that the inspection of Samuel is now following the heart of the Lord. Samuel does not see with human eyes, but in congruence with God, he is looking at the heart. The sons of Jesse are not selected, and it is not a difficult decision. Either a son is anointed or he isn’t. Clearly none of them were anointed.
At the request of Samuel, the youngest finally comes. Naturally, he has small stature, as he is still a “boy”. But despite the small stature, Samuel realizes that the youngest son, David, is the one anointed by God. Samuel ceremoniously anoints David in front of some surely perplexed brothers. And “and the spirit of the Lord came mightily upon David from that day forward”. I wonder how much our own sight blinds us to God’s wishes, and prevents us from truly experiencing God’s intent and seeing the human condition as God sees it. Perhaps the occasional experience of blindness can remind us how the gift of sight may prevent us from seeing the heart of God. In spite of Samuel’s grief and failings, the prophet remains open to God’s word and to new possibilities. While this may not provide a comforting “central Bible truth,” it does offer a realistic picture of the human condition and of the ways in which we might deal with disappointment. While we may often feel the grief, remorse, and guilt of past failings–real or imagined–God does not condemn us for them. Rather, God does provide us with guidance and new possibilities even when we may not see them, are so to speak “blind “.
In our Gospel reading today permit me to point to Jesus’ most telling action. Jesus comes to a man in his blindness and gives him vision. The only one who truly receives light is the blind man. He’s the only one who is healed. He’s the only one who names Jesus appropriately. The blind man sums it up beautifully for all of us: “One thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see.”
Sermon - Third Sunday in Lent 2023 12.03.2023
Reverend Gustav Piir, priest-in-charge.
During the time of Lent, I know of people who create a sense of want by withholding themselves from coffee, chocolate or some other pleasure. However I also realize that, for some, Lent is an all too real reality in which many may feel trapped in a situation of serious deprivation, seeing no way out, a kind of wilderness without water.
On this Third Sunday of Lent, it is thus fitting to contemplate this experience of want in terms of thirst. The metaphor of lack of water in the wilderness that marks the Old Testament reading for today is a compelling means of making sense of this experience of want and particularly of God’s provision not only in the wilderness and in our everyday life as well. So we are off to the wilderness with the people of Israel being led by Moses. Now, high on the list of personal stressors are changing jobs and moving house. Let us imagine that picking up and walking out into a desert with only what one could carry, leaving both home and employment behind, even if it is unhappy employment, would mean for us. I am sure we would be left wondering about where the basics would come from, all this surely would be extremely stressful.
The people of Israel had left their tormentors in Egypt, but they still lived in the real world of hunger, thirst, and uncertainty. As they entered the desert, food became an issue. Water became an issue. These weren’t inconveniences, but serious threats. As travelers they sounded angry and outraged, but underneath, they must have been afraid. The fact that the people complain to Moses and to God is a typical human reaction when faced with the experience of extreme need such as embodied in thirst in the midst of the wilderness. Where is God?” is a question that is echoed in the book of Job as well as in every situation in which the people of God are suffering. In the wilderness, people more often than not may be faced with an acute sense of God’s absence. Yet, in the stories regarding food and water in the wilderness, God’s provision comes in unexpected ways.
Most of us, most of the time, here in Tallinn these days take abundant clean water for granted. We don’t comprehend what its lack can bring: fear, disease, and even death.
We have the firm “Tallinna Vesi” to take care of us and our water supply until the pipes burst and then we need to have the firm “Veemees” come and do the repairs so that water may flow again. In many places today things are not that simple. From the Bible we know that God has created our world in such a way that the world has healing capacities in and through which God can work in positive ways on behalf of the world’s creatures, including us.
In our Old Testament reading from the Book of Exodus God does not create water for the people out of thin air, nor is the natural order disrupted. Water does in fact course flow through rock formations and so it is a matter of finding the places of flowing water.
The actions of both God and Moses enable the places where there is a potential for hidden water to surface. God works in and through the natural world to provide water for the people.
God leads Moses to the help that is available in the world of nature, to the “rock”. God cared for thirsty people, giving them water straight out of the rock. Water from a rock. Manna and quail. God’s provision of water and food is thus often surprising and even impossible in terms of human perception.
The life-giving gift of water is symbolic of the ultimate goal that God’s children may not only survive but also flourish. Out of our hymns which use the metaphors of God’s provision of food and water to speak about our journey through life is the familiar hymn by William Williams first published in 1745 (In our green hymnal The Lutheran Book of Worship number 343):
Guide me, ever great Redeemer
Pilgrim through this barren land;
I am weak, but you are mighty,
Hold me with your powerful hand.
Bread of heaven, Bread of heaven,
Feed me now and evermore; Feed me now and ever more.
Open now the crystal fountain,
Where the healing waters flow;
Let the fire and cloudy pillar
Lead me all my journey through.
Strong Deliverer, strong Deliverer,shield me with your mighty arm; shield me with your mighty arm.
Bringing together images of God’s liberation that is embodied in God’s accompanying presence in the fire and the cloud as well as God’s gracious provision of food and water, believers throughout the centuries are professing their belief in a God who will be our travel partner in our life’s journey.
This is a confession that is particularly meaningful in those times when we find ourselves in the wilderness of a messed up and confusing world.
An important part of our Lenten journey is getting to know this God and the Lord with whom we are making the journey to Jerusalem.
The Gospel lesson this third Sunday in Lent presents us with the startling exchange between Jesus and an unnamed but notorious woman in Samaria.
At the heart of our Gospel reading lesson is her question, “He [Jesus] cannot be the Messiah, can he?” (John 4:29).
The Apostle Paul in the Letter to the Romans seeks to answer her question with a resounding “yes”. Paul wants us to know this man Jesus. Yes, Jesus was and is Messiah, the Christ, the anointed one.
Paul also paints a portrait of Jesus, the anointed one. Jesus was sent by God.
This Messiah, anointed one, did not demand riches and power. This Christ did not conquer the city on a horse of war. Rather, this Christ rode to his battle on a donkey, a beast of burden. For us he dared to die. For us he dared to offer his blood so that we would be saved. And through his death we have been reconciled to God.
Coming back to a basic in our lives, water, it is interesting to note that “living water”, the spring gushing up to eternal life appears several times in the Book of Revelation.
 Just as in Exodus God guided Moses to life giving water and as Jesus offered the Samaritan woman “living water”, according to Revelation the Lamb will guide us to “springs of the water of life”, and the Alpha and Omega, echoing the words Jesus, says to us: “To the thirsty I will give water as a gift from the spring of the water of life.” (Revelation 21:6).
Through the death and resurrection of Jesus, the Lamb of God, we are no longer weak, our sins have been forgiven, for we have been given “living water, the water of life”.
So as we move on in our journey of life from wilderness to the promised land of life eternal, recalling the arrival of Israel at the verge of the Jordan river, the verge of the promised land, let me close with the last verse of William William’s hymn:

When I tread the verge of Jordan,
Bid my anxious fears subside;
Death of death and hell’s destruction,
Land me safe on Canaan’s side.
Songs and praises, songs and praises,
I will raise forevermore, I will raise forevermore!

Jutluse 5.03.2023 Markuse 9:17-29
Gustav Piir, koguduse õpetaja

Inimestena on meil olnud kahtlusi, aga ka hetki ja aegu, mil oleme uskunud. Oleme ka seal olnud, mil me pole uskunud. On aegu, millal meid on proovile pandud. Ajad, mil elu on raske. Ajad, mil oleme oma lähedastega tülis ja loodame, et Issand hoiab meid koos. Ajad, mil päevade arv ja raha pole võrdsed. Meie ei saa päevade arvu lühendada ega raha venitada. Arved aina kuhjuvad ning sissetulekud kahanevad, vaatamata meie töötundidele. Loodame, et Issand aitab meil rasket majanduslikku seisu üle elada. Me ei usu mitte ainult seda, kuidas Issand hoolitseb, vaid samas küsime, kas Ta hoolitseb? Või kui kuuleme arstilt analüüsi meie tervisliku seisundi kohta. Me usume, jah, aga tahame veel teist arvamust. Me usume südamega ja kahtleme mõistusega või usume mõistusega ja kahtleme südamega. Saame aru või ei mõista. Usk ja uskmatus, kaks võimalust. Me ei tea, kuidas otsustada, kas uskuda või mitte, ja nii tulevad kahtlused.
Ka Martin Luther kannatas kahtluse all. Tal oli selle kohta saksakeelne sõna: „Anfechtung”. See kõlab lihtsalt kohutavalt! Pole ühtegi eestikeelset sõna, mis seda seisundit adekvaatselt kirjeldaks. Olukord hõlmab kahtlust, viletsust ja kiindumust. Lutheri jaoks oli piinav kahtlus see, kui ta arvas end seisvat väljaspool Jumala halastust ja armu. Jumal oli temale oma selja pööranud ja kurat kiusas ning süüdistas teda pidealt.
Mida me teeme kahtlusega? Esiteks on lohutav teada, et me ei ole kahtluses üksi. Me pole haruldased kõrvalseisjad, kes oma usus kahtlevad. Kahtlemine on norm, kahtlemine on osa elust. Tegelikult võib kahtlus olla ka produktiivne. Presbüteri vaimulikul ja teoloogil Frederick Buechneril oli kahtluse jaoks tabav nimi. Ta nimetas kahtlust „sipelgateks usupükstes“. Ta ütles, et kahtlused hoiavad meie usku ärksana ja panevad meid tegutsema. Kahtlus ajab poti pulbitsema. Esiteks aitavad kahtlused meil oma usku proovile panna. Nagu varatalvise jääga tahame me enne proovida, kui sellele täie raskusega peale astume - kas see ikka kannab meid?
Kahtlus aitab meil hinnata, kas meie usk toetab ja kannab elu ajal kogetud kogukoorma raskust. Eriti kui oleme usu poolest noored, peame läbima oma usu proovile paneku perioodi. Meid kasvatatakse usus, sest see on see, mida meie kirik meiega usuõpetuses teeb, olgu see pühapäeva- või ka leerikoolis. Kuid kui me küpseme ja saame iseseisvaks, mõtlevaks, täisõiguslikuks koguduseliikmeks, elukogemusega inimeseks, peame mõtlema selle üle, kas peame seda usku ikka omaks? Nii et kahtlus võib teenida viljakat eesmärki. Kuid enamasti on kahtlus murettekitav. Me kahtleme Jumala iseloomu olemuses. Me kahtleme, kuidas Jumal meid hindab, kahtleme kas Jumal meie palveid üldse kuuleb. Me kahtleme, kas see usuasi vastab tõele või on vaid meie ettekujutus.
Markuse evangeeliumis lugesime ühest mehest, kellel on raskelt haige poeg. Meie tänapäeva kõrvadele kõlab see, nagu kannataks poeg krambihoogude all. Kuid Jeesuse päevil mõisteti krambi-ilminguid teisiti. Nad oletasid, et keeletu vaim oli ohvri vallutanud. Isa pöördub Jeesuse poole oma haige poja pärast. Ta räägib, et oli palunud Jeesuse jüngritel keeletu vaim välja ajada, kuid nad ei suutnud seda teha. Kui poiss tuuakse Jeesuse ette, tabab toda krambihoog. Isa palub Jeesust: „Aga kui Sina võid – tunne meile kaasa ja aita meid!“ Kui Sina võid! Jeesuse vastuses on kuulda isa pikameelsust. „Kui Sina võid,“ - kui mitu korda oli isa oma pojale abi palunud? Kui paljude inimeste poole oli ta abi saamiseks pöördunud, ja pettunud? Jeesus oli tema viimane õlekõrs ja viimane, kelle poole ta mingi lootusega pöördus. Jeesus korjab isa sõnad üles. „Kui Sina võid!“ Jeesus suunab isa mõtted Jumala poole ja sellega hoopis uuele võimalusele: „Kõike on võimalik sellele, kes usub.“ Isa teeb seejärel sügava avalduse. „Ma usun, aita mind mu uskmatuses!“
Kuidas see väide võtab kokku meie enda maadluse kahtlusega! Usk on olemas. Me usume. Kuid seda usku kõigutab kahtluse aluspinnas. Mõnikord on usu aluspinna all olev hoovus nii suur, et meid raputatakse jalust. Tahtsime ehitada oma usu kaljule, aga avastame, et oleksime justkui selle liivale ehitanud. Kahtlus ja usk elavad mõlemad meie südames vastandlike jõududena. Isa avaldus diagnoosib ka meie endi seisundit ning meiegi hüüame: „Ma usun, aita mind mu uskmatuses!“ Mida me siis kahtluse korral ette võtame? Ja kuidas me oma kahtluste kaudu lootust elus hoiame? Siin on mõned tagasihoidlikud mõtted selle kohta, mida me võiksime ette võtta. Esiteks, tunnistame ausalt üles, et meil on kahtlused. Kui tunneme kahtlust, ärme eitame seda. Tõde on see, et me kõik oleme seal olnud ja me kõik võime taas seal kahtluste keskel ennast leida! Isegi sellised suured usukangelased nagu Martin Luther on kogenud kahtlust. Alates lapsepõlvest kiusasid Lutherit kuradid, kurjad vaimud ja deemonid ... kahtlused nende seas: kas on ta armu leidnud Jumala ees?
Luther teatas sellistest juhtumitest ka oma hilisemas elus, see hirm rünnaku ees kasvas eriti Wartburgi eraldatuse ajal. Luther omistas oma depressioonid, meeleolumuutused ja kahtlused nendele „kurjadele vaimudele“, kes kuradiga mestis teda kiusasid. See pidev hirm kuradi ees on hiliskeskajal tavaline ja tuleneb usulisest kasvatusest Martin Lutheri kodus ja koolis. Luther kaitses end selle pideva vaenulikkuse eest mitmel viisil, alustades palve ja „rõõmsa viiside laulude“ laulmisest ja lõpetades, rangemalt öeldes: tindipoti viskamisega.
Öösel kuradi poolt äratatud Luther kaitses end väidetavalt julgelt kuradi vastu, visates teda tindipotiga. Hommikul ärgates nägi ta, et kurat oli kadunud ja tindipott põrandal ning plekk seinal. Luther teatas, et kurat kiusas teda Wartburgis viibimise ajal sageli. Tema väide, et ta oli kuradi tindiga minema ajanud, omistatakse tavaliselt pigem sellele asjaolule, et ta Piiblitõlke kallal töötades leidis öötundidel oma võitlustes usukahtlustega tuge Piiblist, Jumala Sõnast.
Nii et kui tunneme kahtlust, ärme eitame seda, tunnistame kahtluse üles ja anname nime on kahtlusele: „Hei, me tunneme kahtlust! Jah, seal see kahtlus on!“ Ärme viska tindipotiga, vaid haarame Pühakirjast, Piiblist kinni. Õpime Jumalalt ja oma Issandalt ja nagu see isa hüüame: „Ma usun, aita mind mu uskmatuses!“ Teiseks, ärme võitle kahtlustega. Ärme vaidle kahtlustele vastu. Pakume selle asemel endile ruumi. Anname kahtlustele tooli ning foorumi. Las kahtlused istuvad meie keskel. Võib-olla on siin mingi õppetund, mida teistega jagada. Me ei saa alati teada, millised need kahtlused on või võivad olla, enne kui me lõpetame kahtlustega võitlemise. Olme enda vastu lahked, mitte karmid. See on hämmastav, mida lahkus, headus ja armastus suudavad kolme peale ära teha. Nad aitavad meid meie uskmatuses usu poole pöörduda.
Lõpuks tõstame kahtlused palves üles Jumala ette. Palvetame nagu kahtlev isa: „Ma usun, aita mind mu uskmatuses!“ Kahtlus võib jätta meile tunde, nagu palvetaksime tuulde. Palvetame igal juhul. Viimased ankrud, mille peale loota keset kahtluste tuuli, triivides elumerel kaljude ja hukatuse poole, on järgnevad: usk ja ustavus. Lõpuks, kui kõik on öeldud ja tehtud, püsib Jumala ustavus ja Jumala usk meisse igavesti. Meie võime kannatada kahtluste all, kuid Jumal usub meisse ikkagi! Ja Jumal ei anna kunagi alla, jättes meid üksinda, sest Jumal on ustav!

Sermon for 05.03.2023 – John 3:1-17 Reverend Gustav Piir, priest-in-charge

If Nicodemus comes under cover of darkness, it is darkness disturbed by peculiar light.
Nicodemus comes to Jesus with a set of convictions about what is real, what is possible: “We know that you are a teacher come from God…” Of course, initially, this strikes us as promising. However, it is precisely what Nicodemus knows that becomes a stumbling block or a darkness to which he clings and that knowledge obscures his ability to hear and receive the testimony of the one speaking to him. Indeed, Nicodemus is reduced to incredulous outbursts of disbelief and astonishment. Nicodemus has his doubts: “How can anyone be born after having grown old? “Can one enter a second time into the mother’s womb and be born?” “How can these things be?” Though Nicodemus comes under cover of night, the deeper darkness of unbelief and of doubt obscures his vision.
We have had doubts, moments and times of not believing. We have been there, and not done that: not believed that is. What times? Oh, the trying times. The times when life is hard. The times when we are at odds with our spouse and we hope that the Lord will keep us together.
The times when the month and the money aren’t equal, and we can neither shorten the month nor stretch the money, and we wonder not only how the Lord will provide, but whether He will. Or when we hear that report of the doctor. We believe, yes, but we want second opinion. We are believing with our heart and doubting with our mind, or believing with our mind and doubting with our heart. We get it. Belief and unbelief. And we don’t know how to fix it. Martin Luther suffered from doubt, too. He had a German word for it: “Anfechtung”. There is no single English word that captures it. It encompasses doubt, tribulation, and affliction. For Luther, it was a torturous doubt that he stood outside God’s mercies. It was as if God had turned a cold shoulder to him.
What do we do with doubt? First of all, it’s comforting to know that we are not alone in doubt. We’re not the rare outsider for experiencing doubt about our faith. Doubt is the norm as are questions about faith and our relationship with God. In fact, doubt with the right questions can serve a productive purpose. Theologian Frederick Buechner had a lively name for doubt. He called it the “ants in the pants of faith.” Doubts, he said, keep our faith awake and moving. Doubt stirs the pot. For one thing, doubts help us test our faith. Like ice in the early winter, we want to test it before we put our full weight on it. Or like ice in early spring, we want to test it to see if it still can carry our full weight on it. Doubt and questions help us assess whether our faith will support the full weight of life’s trials and burdens. Especially when we are young, we need to go through a period of testing our faith. Some of us were brought up in the faith because that’s what our family does. Others have come to Jesus later in life, perhaps in the night as did Nicodemus or after an experience of “rebirth – being born again”.
No matter when we come to believe in a life of faith, with the help of the Holy Spirit as we mature and become independent thinkers, we need to consider whether we claim this faith as Jesus presents it, as our own faith. So doubt can serve a productive purpose. But mostly, doubt is troubling. We doubt the nature of God’s character. We doubt how valued we are by God, if God even hears our prayers. We question whether this faith thing is just a figment of our imaginations. The holy Gospel according to Saint Mark includes a story about a certain man with a serious ill son. To our modern ears, it sounds as if the son suffers from seizures. But in Jesus’ day, the manifestations of a seizure were misunderstood. They surmised that an evil spirit had possessed the victim. The father approaches Jesus about his ill son. He tells Jesus that he’d asked Jesus’ disciples to cast out the demon, but they weren’t able to. When the boy is brought before Jesus, he’s gripped by a seizure. The father makes a plea to Jesus, “If you are able, please do something to help.” “If you are able.” You can hear the father’s longsuffering in his comment. “If you are able.” How many times had he asked for help? How many people had he approached for assistance, only to be disappointed? Jesus was his latest and last hope. Jesus picks up on the comment. “If you are able!” Jesus redirects his thoughts about God, “all things can be done for the one who believes.” The father then makes a profound statement. “I believe; help my unbelief!” How that statement sums up our own wrestling with doubt! Faith is there. We believe. But it wavers from the undertow of doubt. Sometimes, the current of that undertow is so great, that it shakes us from our feet. Sometimes the ice is thin and when our full weight is on it, we fall through into the cold water.
Some of us know of the classic children’s book titled “Dr. Doolittle”. The book tells the tale of Dr. Doolittle, a British veterinarian. He has an exotic array of animals and learns how to speak to them in their own animal languages. Among his menagerie is a Pushmi-pullyu.
The animal looks like a two-headed llama. The two ends of the animal have a mind of their own. On occasion, they oppose one another. A tug of war is the result. In a similar way, doubt and faith both dwell within our hearts as opposing forces. John Calvin declares in his commentary on the Gospel of John, that the mind of Nicodemus was “filled with many thorns, choked by many noxious herbs…” Thorns of bitter truth which, perhaps, have become so completely normative that any alternative seems bitterly nonsensical.
We might remember other instances of laughter in the Old Testament, where God’s promises seemed laughable, if not worthy of cutting derision. Think of Sarah, her body beyond the age of childbirth. When visited the by the three strangers, she overhears the promise, “You will have a son in your old age.” She laughs, guffaws in disbelief. Or think of another woman too deeply acquainted with the way the world to entertain the improbable way of God’s future through Ruth, a Moabite and historic enemy of Israel. Naomi, her name changed to Bitter. On the way back from Moab. Ruined. An old woman now. No sons. No husband. Two daughters. Moabites. She says to her daughters-in-law, “Our roads part ways here. You know how it is as well as I do. You’re still young. Find security in your own country, among your own kind, with your own gods. “ When her widowed daughters-in-law plead with her, she answers them, “Are there sons in my womb that you may marry them?” Impossible, she sighs. Impossible and even nonsensical.
So what do we do about doubt and our questions? What are we to do about the so called “impossible” and even nonsensical? And how do we keep hope alive through our doubt and questions? Here are some humble thoughts. First, admit it. When you feel doubt, don’t deny it. The truth is, we’ve all been there! Even great reformers like Martin Luther have experienced doubt. So when we feel doubt and have questions, let us not deny it; but name then. “Hey, I’m feeling doubt! Yep, here are the questions!” Secondly, le us not fight our doubts and questions. Let us not oppose them. Offer them some space instead. Give them chairs to sit on. Maybe they have a lesson to share with us. We won’t learn what that is until we stop fighting out doubts and start asking our questions. And let us be kind to yourself. It’s amazing what kindness and grace can do. Finally, let us lift up our doubts and questions to God in prayer. Let us pray like the doubting father, “I believe, help my unbelief.” Come to God in prayer and dialogue as Nicodemus came to Jesus in the night. Doubt and questions may leave us feeling like we are praying into the wind. Let us pray anyway. In the end, when all is said and done, God’s faith endures forever. We might be suffering from doubts and have many questions, but God still believes in us! And God never gives up on us, no matter how stupid our questions may seem!